Scars Don't Heal warnings: self harm, suicide attempts, underage smoking, panic attacks, mentions of abuse

By Aziine

Chapter I Safe and Sound

The classroom was quiet other then the soft sound of pens and pencils scribbling out notes placed on the black board. Some kids didn't even bother, too focused on whatever drama was happening that day. And although Archie Andrews was usually good about taking class notes, he was far too focused on trying to get his boyfriend to calm down to care about how sentences were structured during the Shakespearean era.

Archie: 'relax ur okay'

Jughead: 'no i'm not what if they see?'

Archie: 'coach clayton won't let u leave ur sweater on?'

Jughead: 'no they're all laughing and talking about me archie please i need you'

Archie looked up from the glowing lcd screen, running a hand through his red hair before gathering his things. he stood, approaching the teachers desk with worry written across his face.

"Mr. Smith? i've got to see coach clayton about something..." the teacher let out a sigh, tipping his glasses so they rested on his nose bridge. he nodded, although he was a bit reluctant.

"fine...I'll let you go this time Archibald, I expect you to make up the notes and I'd like the homework on my desk first thing tomorrow morning" He said in a stern tone, looking over his glasses. the red head thanked the man before he turned and headed toward the door.

As soon as Archie was out of the classroom, he was running down the hall as fast as he could toward the boys locker room. He sprinted past classrooms and offices, turning this way and that as he zig zagged through the halls. He turned the the last corner and burst past the wooden door. Archie rushed past rows of bright blue lockers, skidding to a halt as he reached the very last row. The image awaiting him broke his heart. Before him was Jughead Jones who had tears rushing down his cheeks from the corners of wide eyes to crash down onto the linoleum, shaky hands messing with the beanie that was typically glued to his head. He'd been pacing back and forth while he was waiting for Archie, trying to keep his composure as best he could.

"Archie..." Jug whispered, his voice breaking off into a sob.

"Oh Juggie..." Archie's tone was gentle as he spoke, a bit out of breath from running. He dropped his bag, scooping the brunet up in his arms and leading his beloved toward one of the benches not far away. they sat in silence as archie held him close, kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back. Jughead's sobs wracked through his frail body, shoulders shaking as he clung onto the redhead. His beanie was dropped into Archie's lap so his hands could grasp onto his lover's shirt.

"Shhh...I've got're're safe..." Archie said, his voice assuring and gentle as he listened to Jughead sob into his chest.

"could you two get any gayer?" a small, annoyed groan escaped Archie's lips. Reggie Mantle was the last person Archie wanted to deal with today, especially with Jughead at an all time low.

"Dude don't make it worse for him..." Reggie snorted and leaned up against the dark blue lockers beside them.

"wednesday adams here started spazzing when coach mentioned he couldn't wear his sweater on the court...he's such a freak Andrews" the boy let out a chuckle. "you keep him around for the sex don't you? we know jason did!" reggie's chuckled turned into a full on laugh, high-fiving Moose as the latter passed by. The comment made Jughead visibly tense up, hands white knuckling in Archie's t-shirt as he began to shake harder. Archie fought every urge in his body to beat the living shit out of the teenage boy standing next to them. The only thing keeping him in place was Jughead, who was in the middle of a terrible panic attack and trying to bury himself in the ginger's letterman jacket.

"i told you to shut the fuck up..." Archie spoke through gritted teeth, glaring up at Reggie. if looks could kill, the younger male would have been dead where he stood. The other raised his hands in defense, a cocky smirk on his face. He didn't apologize, instead choosing to walk out of the locker room. Archie figured he'd say something to their coach that would have him benched at their next practice, but the red head couldn't find the will to care. he was far too worried about how jughead was shaking in his arms. they stayed quiet for a while, letting jughead hold onto him and cry as much as he needed. so long as archie held him through the anxiety, the brunet would get through it. the ginger waited until his boyfriend's shaking was back down to normal amount- knowing he couldn't completely stop due to a nervous tremor he always had- before speaking up and pulling away just enough to look at the teen's red, puffy face.

"How about we go down to the music room and I'll sing to you?" Archie smiled, his eyes full of love and assurance. he knew jughead was vulnerable, far too much to play whatever useless activity was chosen for gym class. as archie wiped away the tears from Jug's face with his thumbs, Jughead managed a small smile. The brunet nodded and shut his eyes as his tears were wiped away, feeling safe and loved. Archie stood with Jug still wrapped around him.

"I'd like that..." The brunet sniffled, rubbing at his own face with the sleeve of his sweater as he moved from his boyfriend's embrace. Archie chuckled and tugged him off toward the music hall after Juggie gathered his things, leaving the locker room behind.

as they reached the music room, Jughead fixed his beanie back atop his head and slipped in alongside Archie. Typically, Josie, Val, and Melody were practicing around this time, however the room was empty. All that was in the room was Archie's beat up guitar case, sitting alone in the corner.

"Don't the pussycats practice in here..?" Jughead questioned as he followed the other toward the couches placed on the far wall. Archie nodded, looking back at him with that bright smile that always made jughead's stomach flutter.

"Yeah but for the next few Fridays they're using the auditorium for rehearsals," Archie shrugged. "josie mentioned some performance at Ace Bowling so they need the space? i wasn't listening after 'the music room is free this friday'" Jug smiled, a soft chuckle passing his lips as he sat on one of the couches and pulled his knees up to his chest. Archie opened the guitar case, carefully taking out both his pick and his instrument before sitting on the couch beside Jughead. He smiled at the brunet, his brown eyes lighting up slightly as he began to pluck out the first progression of chords. When he began to sing Jughead's green eyes lit up, looking toward his boyfriend with complete adoration. Archie reached the end of the second chorus before he looked over at the other boy just a few feet away from him. Sun light poured through the window, passing by the curtain that Josie had insisted she put up to change the mood of the room. It made his dark brown, almost black, hair glitter and from where Archie was sat he could see the soft flecks of gold in Jughead's beautiful green eyes. This made him stop strumming, just to admire the other.

"'re I have something on my face...?" Jughead said softly, reaching up to wipe at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie. Archie laughed and shook his head, carefully setting his guitar down and moving closer to his beloved.

"'re just beautiful.." This made Jug blush, moving one leg down to rest his foot on the floor and turn his face away from Archie.

"Come'ere..." Archie said, patting his lap. The blushing teen bit his lip as he moved to curl up in the red head's arms with his head tucked under his boyfriend's chin. As his face was tipped upwards, he let his eyes slip shut. Archie moved to take his hoodie off before he felt lips on his pale neck. Archie kept his kisses light, however as his breathing picked up and he pulled jughead closer by his hips the brunet grew a bit uncomfortable. Jughead swallowed thick, knowing that sometimes Archie forgot the sickly feeling that always knotted up in jugheads stomach when he tried to make suggestive advances like this. it wasn't arousal, no, it was fear in its purest form. dark, black fear writhed within him at even the thought of sexual desire. of course, as a teenage boy, jughead had been aroused before. he knew all too well what the feeling was like and sure, it felt similar to the way he felt now- hot and flustered, butterflies in his stomach- but he hadn't felt it after their freshman year. the butterflies in his stomach were nothing but cockroaches, fliting about in the landfill that was his thoughts and feeding off the pitch black mold that was his fears and insecurities.

"Archie...w-wait..." jughead muttered under his breath, choking on a whine as Archie softly bit down on a sweet spot to leave a pink mark, it would turn a dark bruise later on, crimson and cobalt blending together to create different shades of purple. The readhead's fingers traced over the straight white scars that Jughead kept covered from view,  pulling away from his neck at feeling a fresh cut along his inner wrist. Jughead hissed out in pain, squeezing his eyes shut and trying his hardest to rip his arm from Archie's grasp before he saw the swollen, rose coloured skin that was scabbed over.

"Juggie, " Archie said, managing to lift the slashed arm up into his field of view, inspecting the pale flesh with his dark brows knitted together out of worry. "Baby...when'd you do these ones..?"

"L-last night...I had a panic attack while you were at Pop's with Betty and Veronica...and instead of calling you I was stupid...I'm sorry..." Jughead had to look away, tears starting to well up in his eyes. He let the tears slip down his cheeks when Archie lifted his right arm to kiss over the six shallow, crusted over cuts. His kisses, which were soft, were like an unspoken apology for not being there for him when jughead needed him. Although, as much as the raven haired teen loved when Archie would kiss them, he also hated making him worry.

"you're not stupid and you don't ever need to apologize for these happens and you're still so beautiful..." Archie's voice was gentle and reassuring. He turned Jughead's head back toward him so he could press a sweet peck to his lips. Jug let himself melt into it, moving his hand to rest on Archie's cheek as he pressed closer. it was moments like these that helped to ground him in reality, helped him focus on the here and now. he knew how much Archie truly loved him whenever they kissed like this, the way their lips fit together like puzzle pieces and how careful Archie always was with him. as they ran out of breath, they breathed each other's air for a brief moment before letting themselves press close again. Between them, Archie's hands explored the parts of Jughead's body he knew he was allowed to, moving to lay Jug down on the couch so he could hover over him and get closer.

"w-we should probably stop..." Archie said as he pulled from their kiss, out of breath with flushed cheeks. his eyes darted away from jughead as moved away and sat back on the couch. He covered his lower body, making Jug's cheeks heat up a bright shade of crimson when he realized Archie was hard in his jeans and had been pressed up against his own crotch without jug even noticing. Jughead could feel that sick fear creeping up his spine again. Although he knew Archie would never do anything that he didn't want, always excusing himself when things got to be too hot for him to handle or apologising over and over again for getting hard, it still made him nervous being so close.

"its don't have to apologise Archie..." Jughead whispered, looking into Archie's eyes. He noticed the blown wide pupils, making it hard to see where the brown of his irises ended and where the black of his pupils began.

"Jug its been months since I, you know...and I-I...I'm so fucking sorry...i didn't mean-" Archie cut himself off, licking his lips and looking down as he held his head in his hands. deep down, he wanted to rock his hips against Jug, make both of them feel good while they made out with each other, but he was a good boyfriend. he knew his boundaries when it came to things like that, knew that what Jason did in freshman year really fucked his lover up past the point of no return. Jug bit his lip, brows knitting together as he thought. after a few moments of silence he bit at his lower lip.

"I said it was okay..." Jug shook his head as he sat up to rest a hand on his boyfriend's cheek again. He pulled Archie's face so their lips grazed against each other again, still wanting that warm feeling that kissing Archie gave him. The red head smiled into it and moved forward the last little bit, connecting their lips in a soft, slow kiss that they drew out for as long as possible. Archie placed one of the throw pillows over himself as he pulled Jughead into his lap again. the pillow kept them from pressing against one another and they'd done it a million and one times before. He held him close while they kissed, lips dancing against one another's in a slow, passionate motion.

Archie groaned as he ripped away from the kiss and looked away from his lover again, he was getting overwhelmed and he didn't want jughead to get uncomfortable. "w-we really have to stop..."

"'s just a kiss Archie..." He sighed out softly, placing his hands on Archie's chest as he sat up. His rear was placed right over the pillow, the tenting fabric of his jeans brushing up against the cushion. Although the two of them had never had any form of intercourse, Archie felt like he could picture Jug just like this. Only without clothes on and bouncing up and down on him to get them off. He shut his eyes, swallowing thick as he tried to shake off the thought. He needed to relax. Besides, Jughead was right, it was just a kiss. Then again they were both sixteen year old boys- hormones had always been difficult for Archie to control since he'd started puberty- and it wasn't like he'd never seen Jughead pop a boner or jug hadn't seen him sport one before either, it was a natural part of being teenagers. Jughead had trauma in the sex department where Archie had not, so he was always cautious when it came to these things. He understood that jughead just wanted to kiss, just wanted to feel secure after such a rough panic attack, but it was always difficult after a while when they would kiss themselves into panting messes.

"i just want to feel warm..." Jug said, his voice nothing but a whisper. Archie sighed, nodding and pressing his lips to Jughead's again. However he was soon pulling away again to calm himself down witha soft whine, still trying to shake off the intense feeling of his boyfriend's weight pressing the pillow into his groin. He couldn't focus on much else but he tried his best. They were interrupted by the loud noise of the bell going off and Betty bursting though the door. Jughead quickly moved away from Archie, clearing his throat and blushing bright red as he tried to keep his arms out of view of their best friend as he scrambled to pull on his sweater again. Archie had tried to take on a more natrual sitting position, tossing the pillow to the side and keeping his hands in his lap instead.

"I knew I'd find you two here! You'll never believe what Veronica did for- Woah, did I just walk in on you two...uh..." Betty Cooper cleared her throat, biting her lip as she began to giggle.

"Betty, what brings you to the music room?" Archie said looking over at the blonde with his blush spread all the way up to the tips of his ears.

"well, i was going to show you two the new uniforms that Ronnie was able to whip up for the homecoming game" she said softly, looking between them and trying to suppress her embarrassed giggles. "but it seems i've compromised a certain mission of yours" She covered her mouth as she let out a few more chuckles and tried to keep her eyes away from where Archie was barely keeping himself subtle. "you might wanna..." she trailed of, shifting her weight back and forth on her feet. Jughead looked over at Archie, biting his lip as he saw the desperate attempt to cover his hard-on with his hands clasped over top of the bulge. it wasn't helping to keep anything a secret, so out of the kindness in his heard, jughead shifted back into his lap with a bit of a grimace at the feeling of the hard bump pressed up against his rear. As Jug settled in his lap, Archie took in a sharp breath before squeezing his eyes shut with a silent gasp.

"Sorry for walking in on you guys getting...frisky" Betty said, looking back up now that Archie was actually covered up better. Jughead looked over at the blonde, shaking his head as he opened his mouth to protest but before he could speak, Archie silenced him with a laugh and a hand squeezing his hip.

"Yeah, shit B, What if we were actually, you know, banging each other and you just burst in the room to see one of us bent over the couch? awkward!" He said without thinking much, looking toward Jughead as the boy spun his head around to look at him. His eyes went from lighthearted to 'oh shit' in seconds as Jughead looked at him with wide eyes.

"And thats where i'll take my leave! stop by my place after school so i can show you guys the outfits!! have fun! be safe! use a condom!" she said as she hurried out of the room. Once Betty was gone, Jughead stood, slapping Archie in the chest.

"Why the fuck would you say that?! You know that shit makes me so fucking uncomfortable!! Why would y-you just let her think- y-you didn't have to make it out like we were actually dry humping against each other Jason!!!" He was bright red and shaking, his breath coming out in quick pants as he tugged at the neck of his shirt and covered his mouth after realising he'd used the wrong name. His eyes filled with tears for the third time that day, his brain felt like it was short circuting as his thoughts raced and he stayed quiet. Archie's breath hitched as he heard the name Jug used and he instantly knew he was having an attack. he jumped up to try and relax his lover, grabbing his hand and trying to get him to look into his eyes.

"Jug..hey hey hey...come back to me!" Archie said, pulling him close. "Relax...I'm so fucking sorry, baby I know how you feel about it and it was such an asshole thing to say i wasn't even thinking! I'm so sorry baby..." He held him, pulling him back over to the couch as he rubbed his lover's back. "baby...this makes it three times know you do irrational things when you get like this..." Archie thought for a moment as he held the shaking teen in his arms, fear settling into his own body as he connected something. "Juggie...have you been taking your medicine?" he said softly, moving Jug back to look into his eyes. Instead of an answer, all Archie got was a sniffle and then Jughead was pulling out of his arms, trying to get away from him. He managed to pull away and grab his stuff before rushing out. He couldn't answer that, not without breaking something.

"Jug! Wait!!" Archie called out after him as Jughead exited the room without another word. Archie was up and out of the music room quicker then he could blink. No sign of Jughead in the halls had him panicking this time. He knew something was off about it all, he'd had more attacks in the past week and more night terrors in one night than he'd had all year. something like this was bound to happen sooner than later and now, all Archie Andrew's could think of was how bad he'd fucked up this time. he pulled his phone from his back pocket, sending a quick text to betty.

archie: 'is jug with you in the blue and gold?'

Betty: 'No, why?'

Archie: 'i'll explain l8tr'

he'd never run home so fast in his life.


after arguing for far too long with the school's security guard, Archie was finally able to make it out of the building. He'd had his bag slung over his shoulder and his guitar case held tight in his left hand. Sure it wasn't any way to run, but he had to get home. He had a horrible feeling in his gut, the type of feeling you didn't just ignore. He got home in record time, not that it was a far walk or run by any means; In Riverdale everything was within a pretty decent walking distance. When Archie reached his house he raced up the porch stairs and made his way inside. Archie dropped his bag and looked into the kitchen. upstairs he heard Jughead's music playing from their shared room and Archie just knew something was going on.

"is he home?! where is he?!" Archie asked, his thoughts racing as he could only imaging what jughead had been up to after their interaction in the music room.

"i think he's upstairs, I knew I had to get you guys cigarettes, so I was on the south side whenever he got home..." Fred said with a sigh, rubbing at his forehead and looking down at the table. Archie grabbed the carton of cigarettes off the table by the stairs and made his way upstairs with his things. The image he was greeted with made him drop everything at the door.

"CALL 911!!!" Archie yelled as he rushed to his boyfriends side. Jughead was sitting on the floor, holding a soaked t-shirt to his wrist. He was pale and washed out, his skin slightly cold. "Jughead! baby come to me! Please!!" It was Archie's turn to cry and panic. Fred rushed upstairs with the phone, looking over the scene as he spoke to the 911 operator.

"It won't stop Archie... and I'm getting tired..." Jughead said, his voice slightly weak. Archie was shaking and practically ripping off his jacket to get to his t-shirt underneath while he sobbed. He pulled his shirt off and pressed it over top of the already soaked one below it.

"Shhh...Juggie, baby you have to stay awake for me...don't fall asleep...stay awake for me Jug...You can do it...You're so can do this..." His hands were covered in blood already, his shirt soaking up the blood in the other below it at a rapid pace. He moved to pull Jughead into his arms and kissed at his temple while he held both t-shirts tight against his arm. Fred had disappeared downstairs when he heard the ambulance sirens, leaving the two alone. Archie didn't want to let Jughead go, and the thin boy who was too pale and breathing in shallow breathes wouldn't let anyone take him from Archie.

"Just a warning, they're not going to separate from each son is hysterical and Jughead probably isn't going to let you touch him without him there.." Fred had warned the paramedic and the woman in charge had nodded.

"I think we can make an exception for something as serious as this...where are they?"

"Juggie, baby stay with me, come on baby, lets sing something okay? sing with me Juggie..." Archie said, pulling in harsh breaths as he started to sing to his beloved despite his sobbing. Jughead weakly sang, though it was more like soft whispers, along with him. it reassured Archie that his other half was still awake. As long as he was hearing Jughead singing along softly he could cope with what was happening. The paramedics got up to the bedroom, rushing to the boys sides.

"Can you lift him up and put him right here? We're going to let you ride with him, but you need to help us out too.." The lady said, looking over at Archie, who nodded.

"Keep singing to me Juggie..That's it...I'm right here, you're safe" Archie said as he lifted Jug up onto the stretcher and helped them carry him out, the whole time continuing to go through the song. By now, the neighborhood that was close enough stood outside, trying to peek in on what was going on. Betty watched with wide eyes as she clung to Veronica's side. When both girls saw the stretcher emerge with Jughead laid on it  along with Archie rushing along next to it they tried to keep their composure.

"Oh my god..." Betty whispered, covering her mouth as she watched them put the stretcher in first and then helped Archie in to be with him. She was distraught by the whole encounter- all she could really see was far too much blood, Archie's panicked state, and jug's weak body spread out on white linens with paramedics surrounding them and the air-pump mask over jughead's face while they tried to keep him breathing and awake, it was all too much. she would have dropped to her knees if it wasn't for Veronica holding her so close.

"We'll go up with Mr. Andrews...he's so strong B, I know he'll be okay..." Veronica whispered, holding onto Betty as sobs wracked through her girlfriend's body, her own tears slipping down her cheeks.

Chapter Two